June 13, 2003

Is it possible to ask God for what I need/want without being selfish in the asking? I think it has to be...after all, no one could accuse Jesus of being selfish in Gethsemene, right? On the other hand, it's entirely possible to pray with selfish motives. "Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz?" =)

I've been praying since last August that God will let me go back to school full-time, and I know myself well enough to know that my motives in making the request might be less-than-pure. So I've made Psalm 37:4 the basis of my prayer... "Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart." My prayer usually goes something like this:

"Father, you know that in my heart I desire to go back to school full-time. Please give me the desire of my heart, or, if my gonig back to school isn't Your will, please change my heart and bring it in line with what You want."

Since I've been praying this way, I've seen God work in my request. I haven't felt the freedom to leave my pastorate to go back to school, and I still have the desire to do so, but God has taken some of the "bite" out of the desire (or maybe some of the lust). In other words, He hasn't shown me that it's His will that I go (at least right now), but He's changed my heart to make the desire more Godly.

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